Hey lovelies I'm back with a new post . Today's post is about a deep feeling/worry within me, and so today the topic as about "changes".
I am the type of person who gets anxious about all sorts of changes. Ie. Moving classes, changing schools, changing my hairstyle etc. So yes even the smallest change often gives me anxiety.
Whenever I go through a personal problem I always tell myself: how I need to change x,y,z about myself - but it never really works. No matter how hard I push myself to change, I can never really let go of who I am and I've come to realise that I can learn to do or be something else, but I can't change what's already there. The things that make me, me, and unique.
I've always found metamorphosis in nature fascinating but I've never been eagerly fond over it. However, visible and social metamorphosis around me is surely more prominent. I find it quite difficult to accept social change. Specially when friends or people close to you move away or even worse become distant; to where the loss of contact becomes the forfeit.
I get stomach tied knots when I think about all the social changes I've gone through for the past few years. And it's nothing but a rite of passage in high school, yet the experience is a both a learning experience and irritating at the same time.
Ever since I've gone on summer break and everyone else has gone their own direction I realised that everyone really has a path of their own , and it is rare for someone else's path to be right next to yours after passing through a never ending crossroad. By that I mean: it's one in a thousand where you get a friend(s) that will stay with you for a long period of time before they're path gets diverted somewhere else.
Some of the people I was friends with a couple months ago in school, I rarely talk to now days except - for the 4 close people whose friendship I cherish like rare gold - so I guess, yes, someone has a point about only being friends with certain people because you see them in a class or place every week. I am quite a sentimental person so I do miss good memories I had with my old colleagues.
So this brings me back to the feeling of anxiety over change because we all know that it is inevitable. But I guess it's what keeps the world going. If there are no changes everything is stuck in a constant cycle with no improvements like medicine during the Middle Ages.
We can choose to keep people we want in our lives, but if they walk away it's not because they are bad people - but because their part in your story is over. I can't remember where that quote is from, but it really made me realise that: everything happens for a reason and nothing is ever permanent.
Accept the changes that come, enjoy the good fortunes you have and don't take anything for granted.