Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Late life update: exams and happiness


So I don't know. I just thought I'd give you guys a life update.
The past month ccrossing between May and June has been: terrifying, heartbreaking and tiring.

It's been terrifying because of all the exam stress. I definitely felt the pressure this time when the exams came. I took everything too lightly I guess and didn't realise the importance of it until I actually sat down for my history exam. I don't think I had prepared myself mentally enough because I had so many other things know my mind which got to me a lot whilst I revised. Looking back,I felt like a loser because I let some of the negativity get to me. I didn't need that stress during the most vital moments in my life. But I got through, woke up, revised , did the best I can and I guess that's all I could do. Other than mentally slapping myself and seeing how these exams are not just exams, but literally a ticket to a better life.
You have an exam the way you play games. If you practice each level over and over, you eventually pass through to the next level; maybe even win it. Same goes with an exam, if you practiced and revised over and over, even if you failed. It will be your drive, which can initially help you pass to the next level. But you only have so much time to do so before you loose all your lives during the games. Except in reality you can only do this all once. So you have to make it count.

It has been a heartbreaking month as well. So many fall outs and rekindlement. For me I've seen within my friends at school a different aura passing round. Everyone seems to be somewhat closer, talking and laughing, bringing back old memories as if they were from yesterday. It's cause we all know that we only have so little time with one another. After spending 5 years together, we're all going our separate ways again. Some of us will see each other from time to time after this semester. But others we will never see ever again. I am a little bit of a sentimental person, and it makes my heart squeeze whenever I think about how -even though my year group is somewhat chaotic at times- we've a shared similar experiences, as well as memories.
I've met so many wonderful people within the last couple of years and it had been a blessing and an adventure to have been with every single one of you. You've all taught me so many different things, and just helped me become who I am today.
Whether, you were the friend who: physically flicked me so I could snap back to reality; you were the friend who gave me tough love when I needed it; maybe you are the friend who Inspired me to become a happy person and know there's always a positive side to things, or the friend who showed me there's something to love about science and its worth taking seriously, my friends who know how to jam and enjoy during music!, and also the friend who even though you're 10,100,100000 miles away show you haven't forgotten where you came from and you're always there still no matter the physical distance.
You all have taught me some things are worth fighting for. In different circumstances. Thank you for being there for me.

Both of these things (exams and getting ready to move on has been absolutely tiring) but I guess I wouldn't choose to have it any other way. Life builds you a path because it knows you were made for it; strong enough even to live it through 

Honestly it feels weird just step back and reminiscent in what has I been, what is, and what may become. The fact that I won't have to worry about exams for . another few months delights and scares me.

So here it goes. One journey ending and another one beginning. But life is just full of that. You just have to embrace it with open arms and know you can make it. Don't forget to appreciate what you have now, while you dream of what you will have in the future.

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